Life of a Ram

First and foremost, cost should never be a factor when trying to add a little excitement to the bedroom. The following are some suggested alternatives to expensive adult store novelties.

-If you can’t afford a nice shocking whip….try a large rubber band or extension chord

- Hot wax eating you out? Try some bacon grease

- Edible condoms pricing up the spot? Try wrapping fruit roll ups around your genitals.

- Chains costing a fortune?  Try linking some paper clips together; double them up for added strength!

-Tingly massage oil prices too high….try some Icy Hot © vapor rub

-Sexy latex prices up the wall?…. try using acrylic paints on cling wrap!

-Warm smooth massage stones…no! Microwave some beach shells.

-Corsets prices are outrageous… put on some underarmor sports attire one size to small

-Can’t afford ropes to tie up your partner, why don’t you try some leggings…too soft? Line the inside with sand paper!

-Can’t afford a gag toy? Try your Sparky’s dog toy!

-Kama Sutra book out of your price range? Turn on the Animal Planet!

-Blow up doll too expensive? Ask the circus clown to make you a balloon human,  don’t forget to ask for the important bits ;)

-Stripper pole….have your roommate hold up a broom

-Nipple clamps…wooden clothing pins for the extra thrill of splinters

-Furry costume prices skyrocketing…Steal your local school mascots outfit for some kinky furry play!

-Foreign phone sex operators charging 2 dollars a minute? Call your Jewish great aunt Yenta for some sexy exotic Yiddish talk.

pbh3: